Chapter 2: Growing Up With Celiac
IN THIS LESSON
Birthday parties were always dreaded for me as a child. I hope and believe we can change this for other adolescents with Celiac Disease- through education and awareness.
Birthday parties as a kid with Celiac are incredibly difficult- ask anyone, truly. I think this mainly stems from the type of food traditionally served at birthday parties- pizza, chips, and cake. And of course, most delicious birthday cakes are very gluten-filled. Although I’ve come across some good dedicated gf bakeries that have yummy gf baked goods (especially outside of the US and in Europe!), GF cake mixes tend to be dry and crumbly- and just not very kid-friendly.
Regardless, we have to find solutions, so that you don’t end up like me at birthday parties, accepting a piece of gluten cake (or a supposed gluten-free treat from a parent untrained on contamination and Celiac-safe meal prep) and cutting/mushing it up with my utensils, smiling and nodding until it seems like I completely devoured the treat, when really, I didn’t touch it at all. So, what should you do when you have a birthday party coming up? Well, I’ve made a clearly outlined guide, for kids (yourself) and parents (if you are reading this), so birthday parties can go back to being fun, and hopefully slightly less stressful and daunting :) (PS, this article refers mainly to when it is someone else’s birthday party- when it’s yours, go crazy with those GF treats!!)
Birthday party guide for kids/teens:
Talk to your friend beforehand- let them know about your dietary restrictions (if they don’t already know), and ask what food is being supplied at the party!
Follow the steps from the parent guide below- remember, it’s totally up to you whether you’d like to bring gluten free replicas of what the other kids are having, or would prefer to eat before. I understand completely- it can be really scary and ruin the fun of the entire party to have a different version of the food that everyone else is enjoying, and sometimes, it feels less scary to just have nothing at all, and come up with an excuse or explain that you have “an allergy” in the moment.
Don’t eat anything you don’t feel comfortable eating- don’t give in to peer (or parent) pressure! If a parent unexpectedly gives you a cupcake they said they made and claim is 100% safe, but you don’t know this parent well and are unsure if they understand the severity of your condition, kindly explain that to them, or, take the food, and make it look like you ate it to be polite. This might sound crazy to other people- cutting up your food and shifting it around the plate or hiding it in a napkin to throw away to make it look like you enjoyed it, however, with Celiac Disease, you have to do what is necessary to protect yourself (physically and mentally).
Birthday party guide for parents/adults/guardians:
Call ahead!! Contact the parent/host in charge of the party. Communicate with them either your, or your child’s, worries, and let them know that you will either a) supply a gluten free version of whatever they are eating at the party (including meals, snacks, and dessert) or b) will help them arrange a safe option for your child in a way so that they do not feel left out or different!
The key here is to make the treat/food look/be as much like as what the other children are eating as possible- the less “why are you eating something else?” questions, the better!
If they are willing to arrange some safe alternatives for your child, great! Give them some of your favorite GF food brands- whether it’s Freschetta or Milton’s GF Frozen Pizza, or an Open Nature/Betty Crocker GF Cake Mix (I know I mentioned these don’t taste the best, however, coming from the kid who sat eating nothing at all, trust me, it’s better to take a bite of a crumbly, yucky cupcake than sit there with nothing at all, staring at the other kids and feeling like a spotlight is blazing on you).
If they are worried about contamination or messing something up, no worries! You are the Celiac parent expert- just prepare the food for your child before, and send them to the party with it. However, don’t be surprised or alarmed if your child is upset about coming to the party with their own food and would rather have nothing at all- this stems from the fear and anxiety of being different or looked at, which is totally normal and something I experienced all the time. Don’t force them to bring GF food- if they’d rather eat before and tell the other kids they aren’t hungry when they are at the party, that is their choice and should be supported.
And there you have it! This advice can be applied to almost any type of event- school events, dinner parties, graduations, holiday parties, the list goes on. Remember, you have to protect yourself and your well-being first- and this can be really hard when you are surrounded by social pressures. As always, please join my email list and feel free to reach out directly if there’s any specific advice you are looking for. I am here for you- let’s make birthday parties fun again :)